How I imagine the start of 2016 sucking less

Lemmy rolls up to the Pearly Gates on his Triumph motorcycle. “Bloody hell,” he says to St. Peter, “you sure you got this right?” He drops the kickstand and slides off his bike. He looks around, shrugs, and snarls “What the hell, let’s get this fuckin’ party started!”

Suddenly, David Bowie slides up next to him. Straightening out his tie and smoothing out his suit, he looks Lemmy up and down, smirks, and says “That sounds like a grand idea. The biggest show in heaven or on… well, in heaven, at least. Shall we dance?”

Alan Rickman then shows up unexpectedly in a puff of smoke. He nods at the two of them and says “Gentlemen, I believe we are all in agreement on this.” He bows slightly, and makes a dramatic flourish towards the Gates with an outstretched hand. “Lead the way.” Trumpets sound, an angelic choir sings, and the Gates swing open to welcome their newest guests home.

As they pass through, Robin Williams careens into the scene on a motor scooter, a manic grin on his face. His Hawaiian shirt flaps in the breeze as he honks the horn on his handlebar. “Ha haaa! Now it’s a party!” His voice runs up and down the scale, from girlish squeals to deep guttural growls, as his rapid-fire patter continues.” Oh, we’re getting it on now! C’mon in, don’t be afraid!” He guns the engine, circling around behind them and urging them forward. “*honk honk* Let’s go, let’s go!”

With the Gates closing behind them, Robin’s gleeful voice can be heard echoing throughout the heavens as they move off into the distance of forever. “Oh, you’re just gonna *love* it here! I have to introduce you to Jimi, and Elvis – yup, he’s here all right, thankyouverymuch – oh, and there’s this little writer named Shakespeare that I think someone’s going to want to meet…”


Flint’s poisoned water, and the criminal responsible

Copied from the Michigan Rising Foundation Facebook page:

“Michigan this is CRUCIAL for you to understand. Snyder himself must be held accountable for the Flint disaster. He removed the elected officials from their positions in Flint. In their place, he put in a non-government ‘official’ who was neither elected by the people or employed by the state, and gave that person sole power to make all decisions that would impact the community. This left the people with no power to vote, to recall and no right to redress. It is literally written into the emergency manager law that emergency managers have total immunity for their actions. READ IT.
If you allow this to stand, you will be throwing away every right you ever had to participate in government and nearly every ounce of political power you hold as a registered voter in Michigan. People not from Flint cannot just keep saying ‘it doesn’t matter to me,’ or ‘what do I care I don’t live in Flint’ (or Pontiac or Benton Harbor or Detroit or any of the other places Snyder has set up an emergency manager) This is a PRIVATIZED government. It is a government that is not a government
The emergency managers can take bribes and gifts (see Snyder’s NERD FUND). They are not sworn in. They do not take any oath to protect the public or serve the citizens. They can receive unlimited corporate ‘donations’ and they do not have to disclose who is paying for stuff like luxury penthouses and luxury automobiles. They aren’t there to serve the public. That is not their job. Snyder’s EMs do not answer to the voters or the public.
You have to understand that if you allow this to stand in Flint, next year or the year after or the year after, it will be your town and you will be the one who is powerless to stop it. If you want to bury your head in the sand because you vote republican, and therefore you are willing to look the other way no matter what this man does, FINE. I get it, who cares about Flint, Detroit, Pontiac, Benton Harbor, It’s not your problem. You’re not your brother’s keeper. But what if this impacts YOU personally?
Think about this… In November Michigan may well have a democratic governor. What if the shoe is on the other foot then? What if a democrat comes into your primarily republican community and removes the people you voted for, and puts in place a puppet who acts only according to the direction of the democratic governor? What if it is your children who are poisoned and you cannot do a damn thing to stop it? What if you can’t even recall or vote out the criminals responsible? You’re worried about the oppressive bird sanctuary in Oregon? You’re worried that terrorists, convicted criminals and the mentally ill won’t be able to buy assault rifles because of the evil and oppressive Obummer? In the meantime, Snyder has taken your right to participate in local elections away entirely. I don’t care where you live, your community can have an emergency manager installed at any time. Why even bother to vote in a local election? Your vote means nothing unless approved by the governor. You’re not voting. You’re participating in a sham election. We might as well just throw out local elections altogether because they have no merit. Doesn’t matter who you elect, what local ordinances you pass, what proposals you favor or don’t – Snyder has the authority to toss all that.
What’s happening in Michigan is the definition of oppression. I guess when you’re the oppressor, oppression doesn’t seem as ugly and evil as you like to pretend you think it is.
Think Michigan. Stand up and say no to this before this, or something worse, happens again. The emergency manager law in this state has got to be overturned and Snyder and everyone that was a party to this must go to prison for what they have done here.
Snyder wanted to be the only person in Michigan with the authority and power to make decisions at the local level.You don’t get to have all of the power and none of the responsibility. You don’t get to make all the final decisions and then say ‘It’s not my fault.’ It is no-one’s fault if it is not Snyder’s fault.
We know from the statements of the emergency managers that the decisions made in Flint came straight from the great dictator himself. We also know that the Snyder administration KNEW that these citizens were being poisoned, and did nothing to stop it. Instead they took deliberate steps to hide it. They rigged the tests and falsified documents. They LIED to the public, assuring them the water was safe, when they knew that it was poison. They allowed school children to drink lead contaminated water. They allowed pregnant women and infants to consume that water, promising that it was perfectly fine, when they 100 percent knew it was poisoned. And they let it go on for more than a year. How is anyone not outraged? How is a single Michigan resident not demanding the arrest of Rick Snyder and his entire administration? These people want you to think they are Christian. They are thieves, liars, frauds, con artists, and cold-blooded killers.

Original post by Randa Morris”

25 MINUTES in Taco Bell’s drive-thru tonight

Tonight, I made sure I filled out the little customer survey on the back of the receipt I got from Taco Bell. I entered the following in the optional box for why I felt I had less than an excepttional experience:

“The time spent in this Taco Bell drive thru, from when I first pulled in to line, until I pulled away, was twenty five minutes.

Twenty. Five. Minutes.

I wasted time and gas waiting and waiting and waiting to be served. TEN minutes from the time I pulled into line until the time I was actually able to place my order. FIFTEEN minutes from the time I placed my order until the time I received it.

I could have driven to a local grocery store, bought myself a nice steak, and taken it home in that amount of time. I could have gone to a nice sit-down restaurant, had a waiter take my order, and have a lovely plated meal served to me in that amount of time.

When did Taco Bell stop being fast food? I went across the street to Burger King to get the other part of my dinner order (since I wasn’t just getting food for me, but for the rest of my family that didn’t want Taco Bell), and it took SIX minutes – and that included the time I spent waiting for a fresh order of fries to come up. TWENTY FIVE minutes is utterly inexcusable.”